


I've been arrested before

by Angelic_Disaster



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale puppy eyes, Bastille escene all over again, Crack, Crowley is #1 best dad, Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Genderfluid Crowley (Good Omens), International Women's Day, Jake Peralta is here because you can't stop me, M/M, Mutual Pining, Parents Aziraphale and Crowley (Good Omens), Take the blessed hint Crowley, Twitter made me do it, Women's March, Women's Rights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:20:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24396418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelic_Disaster/pseuds/Angelic_Disaster
Summary: Anathema and Pepper get themselves arrested after the Women's march. Aziraphale comes to rescue, more or less.“I've been arrested before, don’t worry, I'll get us out of this."
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 93
Collections: Good Omens





	I've been arrested before

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [tweet](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/625378) by @39killersheens. 



> It took me a while but here it is!   
> Inspired by a twitter promp. 
> 
> Shoutout to my wonderful beta, @fishdust, for how patient is always with me and all the work she puts in every fanfic! <3

The 2020 Women’s March had been relatively peaceful except for  a few jerks that had been glaring at the protesters and shouting insults.  It wasn't Anathema's first march and she was used to it, but Pepper wasn't.

Since last year Pepper had grown to consider Anathema some kind of sister. Being friends with the boys was cool, but having another woman to talk too was very refreshing.

Pepper was intelligent and strong, and she was also very protective of Anathema.  All it took was one man's disgusting  comment about Anathema for her to react.

"Look at the girls these days, how fast they are; she is barely an adult and she already has a daughter. Girls these days have no decency anymore."

Pepper grabbed a small rock, and threw it at the man while shouting, "Don't talk about her that way!" It was a good thing for her that she had very bad aim.

Pepper missed and the man  scurried away while muttering something about the youth these days being disrespectful. The rock Pepper had thrown hit a  small bird who was peacefully minding its own business in a tree. The  frightened bird flew away, and two eggs fell from its nest and broke on  top of a very grumpy police officer's head. 

“You’re under arrest.”

"Oops."

Anathema and Pepper were two strong, independent, empowered women who did not need a man to rescue them.

“You have only one call.” The police officer said.  _ Technically _ , a demon is not a man, a woman or even a human, so they considered this a loophole.

They looked at each other and said in unison,"We should call Crowley," and Anathema dialed.

_ Ring Ring Ring, Click. _

"Hello Crowley, this is Anathema, listen, I–"

_ “Hi, this is Anthony Crowley. You know what to do. Do it with style.” _

"Oh f–"

Anathema and Pepper tried to come up with another plan to get out of jail, since Crowley was unavailable.

"What about Aziraphale?" Pepper said.

"We only had one call; I don't think they will let us call Aziraphale. And if he is reading he probably won't answer either."

"But he is an angel. We could... pray." Pepper said. Anathema, being a witch, had never prayed before, but one time to escape from the police couldn’t do any harm.

"Do you know how to pray, Pepper?"

"I think I have a vague idea."

They kneeled on the floor, away from the policemen's sight, bowing their heads and folding their hands in prayer.

"In the name of the mother, the daughter and the holy spirit..." Pepper began and Anathema raised an eyebrow, still with her eyes closed. "We pray for the angel Aziraphale to please appear in front of us. We need help. Aziraphale can you hear us? It’s Pepper and Anathema, we're kind of in trouble."

"I can see, my dear. How did you two end up here?" They heard Aziraphale’s familiar voice behind them. Suddenly, the angel was standing outside the cell looking at the two young women.

"Aziraphale! It worked!" Anathema said happily, standing up.

"Hello Aziraphale," Pepper said, "Could you help us to get out?"

“Certainly, my dear. I've been arrested before; don’t worry, I'll get us out of this."

This immediately raised a lot of questions in Anathema's mind:  _ how, when and why _ Aziraphale had been arrested and why he said  _ US _ instead of  _ YOU _ . Before she could ask, Aziraphale entered the cell with a tiny miracle and closed the door, sat up straight and just waited.

Pepper and Anathema looked at him, and then looked at each other, and then looked at him again.

"Aren't you gonna get us out?" Anathema asked

"Oh no dear, that would be against the law. I'm an angel, I can't do that."

"I'm certain that Satanists also pray; perhaps we should try to summon Crowley." Pepper murmured to Anathema, low enough so Aziraphale couldn’t hear them.

"Better not, I was watching a television show the other day where a demon had the same name as Crowley. We should be careful with that and not summon a not so nice demon by accident." Anathema whispered back still looking at the angel, confused. "We should ask Crowley later how to summon him, just in case."

The minutes passed and Aziraphale sat, fidgeted with his ring, looking at the door.

"Oh dear, he is taking so much time. Excuse me," Aziraphale said, exasperated, to a police officer that was standing near the cell. "I think you forgot to chain me. This is going to take so long if it doesn't look real.” He offered his hands to the officer and gestured to the handcuffs.

"Oh...sure?" The police officer said, as confused as Anathema and Pepper.

"Now, we wait," Aziraphale said, very happy with himself. Not even ten minutes passed before the front door opened and Crowley walked in.

"Crowley!" Anathema and Pepper said, relieved to see the demon. 

"What in someone’s name are you doing angel? Really, this again? Please don’t tell me there are crêpes involved because I’ll go back home without you,” Crowley said indignantly, and changed his tone to a more playful one to speak to Anathema and Pepper. “Hi Book Girl; hi Salt."

"Hello Sir, are these your daughters?"

"No," Crowley said.

"Yes!" Anathema and Pepper shouted. Crowley jumped.

"Ugh, yes, sure, I suppose."

"And is he your...?"

"Husband." Aziraphale said, faster than Anathema and Pepper (they were going to say the same thing anyway), and faster than Crowley, who wasn’t sure of what to say.

"You have to come with me to sign some documents then, sir, and talk to..."

"No, I don't think so," Crowley said, snapping his fingers. The policeman, who suddenly looked like he was hypnotized, said,  _ “Yes, of course, no doubt, no doubt,” _ while opening the cell.

Aziraphale's handcuffs fell to the floor at the same time. He looked defeatedly at Anathema with an expression that said  _ Do you see my dear, the kind of  _ **_s-_ ** _ ugar that I have to deal with? This dork can't take a blessed hint. _

"How lucky we are to have you. Thank you, my dear," Aziraphale said, smiling fondly at Crowley. Anathema was surprised at how quickly Aziraphale's expression had changed, from exasperated to lovesick, and really was surprised that Crowley couldn’t take the hint. “Well,  _ daughters, husband _ ; family reunion at the Bentley,” Aziraphale said cheerfully, walking to the door.

"No, no, no, there's no such thing as family reunion at the Bentley. What the hell were you three doing in a cell?" Crowley said bitterly, but opened the door of the police precinct for Aziraphale.

_ Crowley please,  _ Anathema thought to herself, rolling her eyes. 

"Well, we are here now, and you're with the Bentley, so we can take them home." Crowley made a face but Aziraphale shushed him. "Yes Crowley, we are taking them. It’s the least we can do. Look, it is getting late; we can't let them get on the bus alone. Also, now that you are here, my dear, we could also go get something to eat, just the two of us." Crowley tried to say something again but Aziraphale was already at the passenger door. He just sighed and made sure that they had a reserved table ready in one hour. 

"I threw a rock during the march," Pepper said, grabbing Crowley’s arm before crossing the street, changing the subject while walking to the car. 

"Like Stonewall all over again?” Crowley grinned, very surprised and very proud. “Next year come with me so we can skip the part of you three being jailed.” He stopped for a moment and then continued, “Was Aziraphale with you at the march? Don't you have to be a woman?” 

“Oh no, Pepper and I marched alone. When we got arrested, we tried to call you but you didn’t answer your phone. So we prayed to Aziraphale and he appeared. But even if you come with us next year could you teach us how to summon you? Just in case.” 

"Oh, are you going to change your gender again for the march, Crowley? Are you going to grow your hair long again too, dear?" Aziraphale beamed at the idea. Crowley looked as dashing as a man as he looked beautiful as a woman, but long hair was Aziraphale’s favourite of Crowley's looks. 

"It’s 2020 angel, women can have short hair." Crowley said, entering the car and Aziraphale’s beaming smile diminished as Crowley pouted. Anathema and Pepper sat in the back while Queen’s  _ “Bicycle” _ started playing.

"Oh well, it has been many years since you had long hair. Your look at Golgotha suited you very well.”

“I also had long hair during our time with Shakespeare, angel."

"Yes my dear, but that beard was atrocious.  _ Watch the road Crowley please _ ! Just let me know when you change your pronouns again.  _ Watch that pedestrian! Crowley you can't go that fast; we have the girls in the back! _ "

Anathema and Pepper looked at each other, thinking the same thing: Women’s March 2021 was going to be awesome with Crowley. They also made a mental note to convince Aziraphale and Crowley to go to the Pride Parade next year too.


End file.
